Let’s put an end to this “forever alone” business.
If you’re single, chances are you’ve heard these phrases at least once in your lifetime of singledom:
“How are YOU single?”
“Your expectations are too high!”
“You’re such a catch, I can hook you up with (insert name here)”
But it’s time to put an end to this, because shock horror: being single is not a crime, and it’s not a punishment, so it’s time we stopped treating it like one. As humans in the 21st century, we’re constantly taught, that if we’re single, then there’s something wrong with us. We’ll die alone, we’ll live in a house with 40 cats, we won’t ever find anyone to love us, but hello? Can we please take a moment to talk about the benefits of being single?
First off, our money is all ours. May sound a tiny bit shallow, but it’s the truth. We don’t need to spend our hard earned cash on flowers and chocolates, or Xbox games and concert tickets if you’re shopping for a man. Also, what about the fact that we have the bed all to ourselves? No kicking and shoving, not to mention blanket stealing. While being in a relationship can be fun and exciting, it isn’t the end of the world if you’re 20 and you still haven’t found “the one.”
“Being single teaches you a lot of things about yourself. It teaches you a lot of things about relationships. Being conscientiously single can be an amazingly instructive and constructive period,” says Nicole LaBonde for Madamesque.com, “It isn’t until you know what YOU want from YOUR life that you can include someone else in it.”
Everyone knows those people who jump from relationship to relationship; you see posts all over the internet stating that they’re “forever alone”, and what about those 13 year old girls crying that they’ll never have a boyfriend. Yeah, if you’re happily single, then you most likely gag when you come across one of these every single day. There’s a certain satisfaction you get when you spend time with yourself alone, also known as “me” time, that you can’t get when you spend time with someone else. Don’t get me wrong, if you’re in a relationship, good for you! But if you’re single, then enjoy it while it lasts.
“I had a director in Philadelphia that said ‘Don’t make any life decisions until you are 28. You don’t know who you are and what you want until you are 28.’ And, I think she’s right,” says Nicole, “You need to go to school. Then you need to get out of school and experiment with life- different jobs, different cities, different activities, until you find a combination that makes you happy.”
Believe it or not, some people are actually quite content living their life with 40 cats, and there’s nothing wrong with that. Being in a relationship isn’t for everyone, and some people receive more affection from their pets then they can get from another human being.
While you may be saying it out of love, telling your single friend that you can “hook them up” with so and so isn’t flattering, it’s annoying. We know you care, and we’re thankful that you do, but we’re tired of going on blind dates you’ve arranged, with men that end up having a full blown criminal record (little excessive, but you get the point). We’re tired of being treated as someone you feel sorry for because we don’t have a significant other in our life. You can best believe that there are many single people in the world who enjoy the solitude, and the lack of responsibility that comes with not being in a relationship.
It’s time we stop feeling sorry for ourselves, because being single is freaking awesome. You take care of yourself, you don’t have to shave your legs and you get to choose what channel to watch on TV.
Like Carrie Bradshaw from Sex and The City has said “Being single used to mean that nobody wanted you. Now it means you’re pretty sexy and you’re taking your time deciding how you want your life to be and who you want to spend it with.” So go out and rejoice, because if you do make the decision to get married, then you won’t get these precious years back again. – Basmah Qazi
Photo taken from Tony Staires Flickr photo stream.